Today’s title is a play on The Ice Man Cometh, a 2018 Broadway revival starring Denzel Washington.
What is an A.P.E.?
Writers try to create realistic characters. Flawless ones (the characters, not the writers) are about as interesting as a graphic novel without captions. Meet Beniqo, the hero of Stoneslinger. He’s brave, he’s relentless, and he has a mouth on him like a trucker.

Profanity is such an interesting phenomenon. Why do so many people find it objectionable? Possibly because it’s generally an expression of contempt. Do we need more contempt in our world? You tell me. If I endeavor to treat people with respect, then why include profanity in my books?

Studies show that swearing is the most common method of expressing stress and frustration. If Beniqo’s visceral reaction to either of those emotions was “Fudge nuggets” or “Merciful kitty whiskers,” would you keep reading? Me neither. Hence the All Purpose Expletive, or A.P.E. It had to be short and punchy, easily morphed into multiple tenses, immediately identified in context by my target audience, yet mild enough for readers who don’t realize that most rappers know mothers who are truckers.
Meet “Zem.” It ticks all the boxes. To Beniqo, some people act like zemming idiots. Problems become a zemmed nuisance. When stressed, he often mutters “Zem it.” My target audience will make the connection, without offending anyone when they quote him. You’re welcome.

Try it yourself. Did somebody cut you off in traffic? Did your boss make another unreasonable demand? Instead of cussing them out, let that A.P.E. man cometh. See if a little zem diffuses the tension without getting you fired.

Your turn. I’m interested to know if profanity, in a greater or lesser amount, is a deterrent to you enjoying a book or movie. Thanks for dropping in. It’s been zemming fabulous!
Ciao for now,
Kai
